Phoenix Business Daily

How do you become self-disciplined in order to achieve your goals?

I have always been raised in a very motivational environment. I've always had all sorts of support and encouragement from my family and close friends to help me achieve my goals and take pretty good care of myself. However, now I'm out on my own, and most of those friends and close family ties have faded. I've got nothing but myself to keep tabs on myself, and I've come to a screeching halt to say the least. Now I've read all the literature on motivation, listening to all the tapes, been to the lectures, and even given some myself. I know all about journals and setting goals. However, no matter how much of a plan I put in place or how many goals I set, I don't seem to have the self-disciple to follow my own system! I work very well in a group setting, but once I'm on my own I seem to lose all my steam. I have the motivation to set goals, but not the discipline to follow through with them or make progress. Aside from becoming a hermit, how could I learn self-discipline?

Public Comments

1. By not always getting what you want instead do things and have things that you need. Self-desire is also a major pare in self-discipline
2. If you work better with others motivating you, find a group of people with similar goals. There's a bazillion organizations out there, I'm sure there's a group for you. Be thankful you have goals. Don't be down on yourself, it will not help you achieve anything.
3. I believe that the self-discipline you speak of can only be developed by experience. There is no magic bullet. Every time you find yourself falling away, go back to basics. Write your goals down, envisage them, feel how you will feel when you accomplish them. Maybe what you need is some object lessons in how this really does work. Nothing motivates like success. Do not worry about big goals at first - practice on small short term goals at first. Experience how these things happen when you do all the steps. Also, what motivates us is a reward. So set a reward that is something you really want, something that really presses your buttons when things are difficult or you realise you are starting to stray off the path. This will give you the confidence that the system works, and the help to convey the motivation information in your head into a heart-felt feeling. The fact that you are concious about these issues and want to improve tells me that you have the want and the will to succeed. So go to it. You can do it.
4. Step 1: Find out what your goals ARE. You will never SET goals and achieve them on your own. You have to find out what motivates YOU and make that your goal. In your case, it sounds like some facet of working with people is what motivates you, so do it. Self-discipline is an illusion: either you're motivated or your not.
5. You might feel that may answer would make you seem weak, or that my ideas are beneath you since you lecture and know all these motivating tools. Those tools don't seem to work for you. It must be terrible to lecture about fixing the problem you can't fix yourself. Maybe it's time for a new paradigm. Can't hurt. I, too, consider myself to be a highly motivated person with defined goals and dreams. My lack of motivation came from a depression. For a while, I did nothing except to fake it when I had to. Now, besides work, I try to do 3 little things a day, i.e. store, walk around the block, or go to a movie.This could also be brunch, sweep the stairs, or window shop downtown. I started with one and worked my way up. It is kind of like practising until it's second nature. I find it permeates into all areas. I initiate big goals now (at work, or coordinating outings with friends) and I can follow through with confidence! This might make you feel insulted, but I suggest that if you are in therapy, chat about it. I'f not, check out therapy. Therapy isn't just for "crazies." It is also for self-enrichment. Your life seems OK, but you sound like you need it too be much better. With all the possible solutions and resources available, why settle for a life that doesn't let you meet your goals? Best of luck to you!
6. Make a detailed list, and mark off each item as it is done, with the promise of a little reward, once you have accomplished a certain amount. Try to do things in bursts of 15 - 20 mins., with a short break after each (mark it off!) watering the garden, stretching, getting a glass of water, starting the laundry, having a snack, exercising, starting the dinner, or contacting a friend/relative in between times. Tell a close friend about your problem, and ask whether you could tell them about your progress on a regular basis, without boring them too much.
7. First, recognize the fact that you are a natural slacker. Don't feel bad though. Most people have this problem to some degree. The fact is, it is more beneficial for 90% of the population to be the kind that does well in a group around other people than the kind who leads the group regardles of whether or not a group is there to lead. Second, don't try to change too much at once, and don't try to be someone or something that you're not. Third, try new things. Fourth. Stop putting things off. It has to get done so it might as well be done sooner than later. The more you get going the easier the going will get.